Bloody Mary Mix

Well, I made it to Houston in more than enough time.  Unfortunately for my readership (you), that means I have time for another post.  Feel free to take a break and come back later.

On the bus to the airport this afternoon, my mouth started to salivate.  I noticed this like you might notice a fly landing on the seat to your left; I was aware that it happened but couldn't have cared less why.  Then I actually started to think about it, and realized my mind had wandered to the title of this post as I had been thinking about the airport.  A free can of Mr. and Mrs. T's Bloody Mary Mix is the highlight of every flight I take, and I have no real explanation as to why.  It's not just a simple courtesy to me; it's an indulgence that my brain has been rewired to expect as a result of going through the ridiculous circus we like to call security.

Fast forward to the flight itself: I'm on the plane and the drink cart finally comes by.  I'm squirming like a five year old waiting for an ice cream truck and I blurt out that I want my spicy tomato candy before the attendant gets the chance to ask.  I stretch it out for about half an hour, trying to make the most out of my blissful aluminum can, and go back to trying to finish Psalm 119 (not as easy as it sounds).  Somewhere around verse 80, I realized two things.  First, I am not even close to done with this Psalm, and second, my stomach is starting to hurt.  Badly.  "Did I eat something funny?" I ask myself.  "What was on that chicken sandwich anyway?"  Then it hits me.  It was Mr. T himself.

We have this weird tendency to find these dichotomies of preference (some of us may even seek them out).  Why is my palate's love for bloody mary mix only equaled by my stomach's hatred for the same?  More importantly, knowing this inter-corporal ambivalence occurs every time I drink the stuff, why do I always ask for it?  And why on earth do I look forward to the sensation?

Sometimes, these dichotomies seem to seek us out themselves.  Such was the case for me watching President Obama's State of the Union Address.  Given his previous actions, I went into the experience with less than an open mind, but gradually, bit by bit, I was shocked to actually like a lot of the things he said.  A few examples:

"At a time when too many of our institutions have let us down, (our service men and women) exceed all expectations. They’re not consumed with personal ambition. They don’t obsess over their differences. They focus on the mission at hand. They work together.  Imagine what we could accomplish if we followed their example."

"I believe as strongly as ever that we should take on illegal immigration. That’s why my administration has put more boots on the border than ever before. That’s why there are fewer illegal crossings than when I took office...The opponents of action are out of excuses. We should be working on comprehensive immigration reform right now."

"The executive branch also needs to change. Too often, it’s inefficient, outdated, and remote.

That’s why I’ve asked this Congress to grant me the authority to consolidate the federal bureaucracy so that our government is leaner, quicker, and more responsive to the needs of the American people."

In fact, he said a lot of things that could have come straight from the mouths of the people trying to replace him:

"...if you’re an American manufacturer, you should get a bigger tax cut. If you’re a high-tech manufacturer, we should double the tax deduction you get for making your products here. And if you want to relocate in a community that was hit hard when a factory left town, you should get help financing a new plant, equipment, or training for new workers." - Rick Santorum?

"Let’s never forget: Millions of Americans who work hard and play by the rules every day deserve a government and a financial system that do the same...no bailouts, no handouts, and no copouts." - Ron Paul?

"America is determined to prevent Iran from getting a nuclear weapon, and I will take no options off the table to achieve that goal." - Newt Gingrich?

"We don’t begrudge financial success in this country. We admire it." - Mitt Romney?

Heck, he even took one from an ex-candidate's playbook:

"A small fee on the largest financial institutions will ensure that it won’t add to the deficit and will give those banks that were rescued by taxpayers a chance to repay a deficit of trust." - John Huntsman?

The fact of the matter is, even if you strongly disapprove of the way President Obama has gone about his business, you had to hear something in that speech that resonated with you (unless you weren't listening).  He didn't bring a political sniper rifle, poking holes from on high in what is an admittedly weak opposing field of candidates.  He brought an idealogical shotgun and sprayed concepts and buzz words ranging very nearly from Karl Marx to Glenn Beck.  If I had heard that speech without any previous experience, I wouldn't have a clue what to think about the man as a politician.

And therein lies the problem.  Throughout the speech, despite the savory moments where he almost seemed to concede an argument in my political favor, I kept feeling like I was drinking a can of bloody mary mix.

"On the day I took office, our auto industry was on the verge of collapse. Some even said we should let it die. With a million jobs at stake, I refused to let that happen. In exchange for help, we demanded responsibility. We got workers and automakers to settle their differences. We got the industry to retool and restructure. Today, General Motors is back on top as the world’s number-one automaker."

USA!  USA!  USA!  Yeah, man.  We build some awesome cars.

"Chrysler has grown faster in the U.S. than any major car company. Ford is investing billions in U.S. plants and factories. And together, the entire industry added nearly 160,000 jobs."

JOBS, JOBS, JOBSJOBSJOBS, JOBS, JOBS, JOBSJOBSJOBS, JOBS, JOBS, JOBSJOBSJOBS JOBS, EVERYBODY!

"We bet on American workers. We bet on American ingenuity. And tonight, the American auto industry is back."

WOOO GAMBLI...wait a second.  "We bet on American workers?"  Who's "we?"  I didn't...wait, yes I did.  You took my tax money and bet it on a company in the name of saving jobs.  That's like a church official taking the offering money to a casino so he can donate his winnings to the church (and save casino jobs).  Don't get me wrong, I'm really thankful for the jobs the auto industry has brought and continues to bring to my country, but I'm of the opinion that companies can make their own financial decisions.  Look at Ford, for examp...

Wait a second.  "Ford is investing billions in U.S. plants and factories."  That's great, but you didn't have anything to do with that.  In fact, you're taking credit for something you tried to thwart by giving their biggest competitor (GM) a bailout. 

"Today, General Motors is back on top as the world’s number-one automaker."

Check that.  You bailed out an irresponsible company and enabled it to make an artificially fast comeback, allowing them to surpass the competitor who responsibly reorganized their company and is doing very well on their own, and then took credit for their (Ford's) success as a result of your bet?  Are you kidding me?  That's approaching a Gingrich-esque level of fidelity to your supposed earlier principle:

"Millions of Americans who work hard and play by the rules every day deserve a government and a financial system that do the same. It’s time to apply the same rules from top to bottom: no bailouts, no handouts, and no copouts. An America built to last insists on responsibility from everybody."

You see, even when I like your rhetoric, I can't get behind your methods of implementation due to a simple belief in a variety of principles, including the one that tells me to follow the others (namely, my conscience).

There are at least three more examples I wanted to write about, but I have to stop for two reasons.  First, my battery's about to die.  Second, my bloody mary mix is here.